The r-r-rest of the story

This is another draft that has been hiding and that needs to be aired. I am not pleased that I have allowed myself to indulge in literary cowardice. If I wrote it, that's as good as if I'd said it. Here you go, my emotions were obviously in play, so take it as read.

I have been very lucky in that although I have been married several times I've never made an
enemy of a former wife. I've even made friends with some of their subsequent husbands, but more to the point I've maintained contact with my children. Without drama I've watched them grow and develop lives and families of their own, and sooner rather than later they've given me grandkids. If this sounds idyllic you have nailed it. All that's lacking in this picture is that in the fullness of time I should pass away surrounded by my loved ones,...all of them.

I'm not one to put up with irony, so if anyone wants to console me by declaiming that life is unfair let them know,now and forever, that I was already aware of that. I have buried my share of friends and relations, and I have felt grief, but heretofore my losses have followed a traditional and accepted pattern: No matter how grievous my loss was felt, it did not come before its time. So let me explain how life fooled me.

First of all, when someone is taken as we say, "before their time", we tend to endow them with more than normal attributes. They were this superlative, or that exception. I think this is a normal way of expressing guilt through grief, guilt at not recognizing someone's uniqueness before it was too late. Let everyone who crossed paths with Colby know that I do not believe any of you could have been so dim as to have not been aware of his special nature.

I was surprised, yes, mugged by the loss of my son. His brother's call found me at my computer that morning. I had only recently returned from a visit to Atlanta, and I felt reassured that the infection had passed and he would be strong enough soon to start anew his battle with the cancer. I heard Brady out. and I think I thanked him for calling me. I know I thank him for giving it to me straight.

As far as I know, Colby passed away with his eyes wide open and in the full knowledge that he was going. I envy him this, and I wish a similar passage for myself. It was certainly in character.

I have tried to think of a fitting memorial testament to give for my son. I've gotten bogged down in all the aforementioned superlatives which, while true, seem to fall short. Finally, I bethought me of the way those who knew him best behaved in the run-up to his memorial gathering.

I arrived at the height of the preparations in Atlanta. The club house had been booked, a website had been created, people and food had been pledged. However, the devil being in the details, I could sense a growing sense of frustration among those who were trying to create a gathering that Colby would have liked to have attended himself. The fact that they ultimately succeeded does not change the fact that they really wanted Colby to tell them what to do.

That is the one unique thing I hope everyone takes away with them. Our family has many talents, many admirable attributes to recommend us, but so far as I know, it has been generations since there has been such a one who has had the leadership ability of Colby Wade Simmons.

Now understand this, he did not command. He joyfully led, and who could not follow?


Godbless,
Daddy